Happy 2007

There's something weird about this world, I tell ya.

By the time I've finished typing this, it'd probably be the new year of 2007. People around me are calling "Hey let's go for the countdown!" or similar stuff, but I don't want to. I don't believe in this stuff. What I'd like is to usher in the new year quietly. Let it slowly take over you, envelope you in its embrace. You'll be more aware of it this way. More aware that this is a new year, with new challenges, new experiences, new sights, new sounds. A Whole New World, to quote that song.

For myself, I don't have much of a New Year's resolution. Sure we all have those staple ones e.g world peace, unconditional love, blahblah etc. But what really are New Year's resolutions? Can we honestly tell ourselves that we've followed everything that we wrote down in December of 2005? The majority of us would probably have wrote that down just for New Year's sake. But by February, that piece of paper or Word document would probably have been forgotten, lost in that 80GB hard drive of yours or simply thrown away into a wastebasket. What I truly believe in is to have a constant set of beliefs, beliefs that are positive and can influence you in your daily life. It is not what we write now that defines us, but how we carry out our daily lives in the coming year. It is that constant striving force that will determine whether we make or break 2007.

I'm typing this in the safety and comfort of my home, having a little quiet time to myself. Ever since I went for that totally insane millenium countdown at Orchard back in December 1999, 2359h, I promised myself I'd not go for such stuff again. Only if I were in New York's Times Square.

Many people around me are so enamoured by the incoming new year. Sure, 2007 brings fresh new ideas and brand new experiences. But whatever the case, there is always that excess baggage we carry over from 2006. And that's an inevitable fact. Let me see whether I can list some: --

• Iraq will still be in civil war, thousands will die and another thousand US soldiers will die policing a country that is not theirs
• America's automakers will still be losing millions (and that Camaro SS will never come)
• We will be one year closer to losing all the ice in the world due to global warming
• Polar bear numbers will continue to decline due to that
  
• Thousands of children in Africa will still die from AIDS
• The rebuilding of the damaged homes in Indonesia from the tsunami of 2005 will still doggedly carry on
• Hurricane Katrina victims will still be looking for places to live
• North Korea will still threaten Asia with its nuclear bomb
• Bastard terrorists the world over will still continue to hold All-U-Can-Bomb fests
• Malaysia will continue to nitpick Singapore. Over what, no one can tell.
• I still won't have a girlfriend

Oh well. Looks like 2007 isn't that bad after all :). Happy New Year everybody.

wonderful wednesday

Why do I spending so much time and effort on someone who doesn't appreciate it, when someone whom I feel special with gets only half that time? She once meant more to me than anyone else, still means more to me than anyone else, yet I'm doing this to her? She deserves much more than this.

Gerald Ford is dead, long live Gerald Ford. The 38th President of the US passed away at the grand old age of 93. My hat off to him. He was one of the most influential US presidents. I think he'll be sorely missed. Also, singer-songwriter and "Godfather of Soul" James Brown passed away, from heart failure. I love his songs. "Get Up Offa' That Thing' was one of his greatest hits, apparently. Just read that up. God bless both these wonderful people.

Went to Amy's today, passed her her present. Was raining the whole time so it was slightly wet when I got there. Ate lunch together, as usual (I cooked!) and helped her prepare her dinner. In a way. Hope it was edible, Ames :). Fafa was jumping all over me like I was a long lost friend. Everytime I tried to put her down she'd have none of it and would jump back on my lap. We had a lot of fun but there're too many to list. And I don't like to publicize those too. Private. Shh.

Accompanied Joanne at Wisma to buy her pants later in the day. Met up with Joycelyn later. It was so funny that I couldn't stop grinning to myself throughout. The whole time I was desperately trying to keep my laughter in check. For the life of me I don't know what was so hilarious, but as I think back now I think I know what it is. Shan't say what it is but damn, is it funny. She had her dance class at 1815? (I think) then I just went off home myself. Can't meet her tomorrow cos her mommy wouldn't say yes. Another time, no problem.

I think the umbrella should become a fashion accessory for people nowadays. I mean, it's raining the whole time, everyone's getting wet and it doesn't look like a reprieve's coming soon. People should start carrying brollies the way Paris Hilton carries dogs or Hong Kong celebrities carry marriages (sometimes they don't). Speaking of accessorizing. That day on the train, I had the luck of seeing 3 baby-toting mothers right in front of me. One Indian, one Malay and one Chinese. But that wasn't all. I counted nearly 5 more babies in strollers in the same car I was in. I thought the Government was pushing for more babies but this was insane! It was like it was fashionable to have babies! Maybe I should tell my future wife that.

Greetings

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Couldn't have asked for a better way to spend my Christmas Eve. Went ice-skating (or attempted to) with Audrey, YM and Gilbert. Gotta thank Gilbert for helping me up so many times after I'd dropped to the wet rink after losing balance. God knows how many times I slipped and fell from just losing balance or having sore legs. Michelle Kwan, I have no idea how you do it. You're still hot, though. Dropped at Raffles interchange and left those two ()birds to their own business.

Just came back from the staple diet of candlelight service at church and makan after that on every Christmas Eve. Saw some people I expected to see, some I didn't expect to and some I didn't want to. Let's just say they've not been very good to me or my family.

Sigh. Not that I'm lamenting this or what, but I was supposed to go for Joanne's Christmas dinner party at her place. In the end stuff happened and I didn't. Well, was kind of looking forward to it actually. I mean, not the fact that I'd get to go to her place, but I've never gone to a Christmas party before. Maybe another time, Kai Yi. Cheer up.

OK no emo from me today. It's the season of giving and perpetual hope. Let's spread the joy, people. MERRY CHRISTMAS ONCE AGAIN!

Rain, rain, go away

It's raining so damn badly these few days that I think Singapore's water problem has been solved for the next few millenia. My shoes are soaking wet and I'm resorting to wearing sandals. Gah damn

Did my first volunteer work at SPCA yesterday with Yiming. Cool enough, just that the rabbits' toilet training leaves a lot to be desired. The cats were great though, and I think I've grown quite fond of them. They're all so damned cute, as the rabbits are, in spite of their otherworldly toilet habits. Let's just say that the rabbits' cages were hell compared to the cats'. The newspapers that lined the cages of the rabbits' cages were, erm, soaked. And it wasn't because of the rain either. The cats were all jumpy and fidgety when we were cleaning their cages. In contrast the rabbits were almost all just sitting there and staring at me when I tried to remove them. Only one of them gave me a look like could only be described as utter shock and awe (something like O.O). Two girls were there and they chatted up Yiming and I. Really, they were quite good looking. It was only after we left that I realised I hadn't gotten either of their numbers. Hope I can see them again though (sorry YM, no dice :)).

Going to skate ice this Sunday with Audrey and YM. Hope I don't fall down too many times.

rain, rain, go away

He was just standing there, in the rain, soaking wet.

I was just walking by, on my way home. I whistled to him, and he came bounding, a flash of brown. A beautiful golden retriever. He looked so lost. I tried to shoo him away, but he always came bounding back whenever I whistled. And he just wouldn't go away. He trotted by my side, in the pouring rain, he loving eyes looking up at me, lost, pleading. I couldn't just do nothing. The speech by Deirdre Moss of the SPCA just touched something in me. 1000 strays taken in monthly into their shelters really struck a chord in me. I couldn't just do nothing: I took him home.

I gave him some food and water, and played with him. Just 45 minutes after I let the lost canine in, the maid of the owner of the dog - searching for him - chanced upon him at my gate. Thank goodness we didn't let him in otherwise she'd still be searching in vain.

I guess something good happened to me today. Barely 5 minutes before I found the dog, I was yelling at myself through the rain - literally yelling - at how bad this day had turned out to be. Why I had still so many things to do at home, etc. And this encounter happens to me. The most amazing thing was, I walked out of my house intending to do a good deed today. However, no chances called out to me during the time I was out. Until I came home. All through this encounter, I felt like a hand was behind it all. God, maybe? All that I know that this was a blessing bestowed upon me. I feel absolutely overawed by this.

Happy days are here again

Sorry for the long absence. Must have been sleeping and watching too much Craig Ferguson.

I'm numero Uno on the Blacklist now! Razor got pwned big time and Gilbert's still playing catchup with my rank -thumbs nose. BMW M3 is my favourite car now. So happy.

Went out with Audrey after organ lesson on Friday. Ate dinner at TP then headed off to Bishan cos we couldn't find an MP3 player that suited her fancy. Saw a couple of my old classmates at J8 but I didn't bother saying hi. Not the kind of people I'd mix with anyway.

Yesterday night was my sis's birthday party. Invited Gilbert over so I wouldn't get bored. Was plenty hectic preparing for the party man. So many things to do. I had to cart 25kg worth of ice from the 7-Eleven down the road all the way back to my house. Thank goodness my arms didn't come off. Got drunk playing this ridiculous game, whereby you pick a card out of a circle of them - without breaking the circle - and then depending on what the card is, you have to do something. Climax of the game was down to 2 cards and a final 4th king. Now, if you got the fourth king, you had to drink the entire cup of wine down, which was sitting in the centre of the circle of cards. It came down to me and my sis's friend beside me. Deliberated for about a min, then I picked. I got a Jack of Spades -big grin, while my sis's friend got the king. She had to down the cup. But it didn't matter. I was so inebriated by then I couldn't stand properly. Sis's friend wanted to bring me out to St James but I went fuggit, I ain't going anywhere. Gilbert had to bring my to my room so I wouldn't collapse on the way up. Thanks man. Owe you one. No hangover, thankfully, but ached.

Listening to The Island OST now. A really good piece of music, I must say. Wanted to buy the album from Borders that day but it cost friggin 25 bucks. Pirated ftw

sleepless in singapore

I guess I misunderstood myself all along. Let's just let it be. I won't look up to you the way I did before. It's not that I don't like you, I do. But we all have to back down sometime.

Slept during Mark Wan's lesson and all through my bus ride back home from Goethe where I was paying my fees. Tired as hell and felt somewhat burdened.

Got to number 2 on the blacklist! I'm the proud owner of a brand-new Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. That guy just couldn't stand up to my superior Porsche 911 Carrera S. Kicked him in the goolies, took his car AND got myself a "get out of jail free" ticket. Cool. Now have to figure out a strategy to beat Razor. He's a toughie and he has got my BMW E36 M3 GTR. Not that I'm looking forward to getting that car. I think the McLaren and Ford GT are far more exquisite and exotic vehicles than an M3. However bear in mind that I haven't seen that car in a long while, so if I tune it up some, it could be a real whacker.

Which is more than I can say for my former flagship vehicle, the Porsche Carrera GT. No doubt in real life the car is a stunning beauty (hey, Jay Leno owns one), but in the game, it's just a letdown. I have lost track of the number of spins performed while racing. Not just any spin, mind you. A 360 that'll make you lose time AND patience with the car. Decided enough was enough and sold it today for 145,000. Now my new Porsche 911 Carrera S takes the cake. So, in total I have 3 cars now: the Lamborghini Gallardo, Porsche 911 Carrera S and my new best friend, the Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. Just realised that all my cars are of European ancestry. Ha! It's not that I don't like Japanese cars, it's just that I don't think they're cut out for pure, adrenaline-pumping racing. The Brits and Germans still do it better.

McLaren FTW!

today is a great day

Paul Twohill was at the bus stop opposite Far East Plaza in front of a hotel (forgot the name). I was with Amy. He went like Yo man and I went like Yo man and people around us were like, whatever man. But he was cool. Exchanged a handshake and talked a bit, before he hailed a cab back for home. Still the same emo style and all, but it's all ok.

I didn't know how much I missed Amy until I met her today. Met her after her work to send her home. Actually I was already spying on her long before she was done (sorry Amy :)). Same as before: jokes abounded, nonsense flew every which way. She's just great to be around with. Couldn't afford Häagen-Dazs so I treated her to one of those $1 ice-cream-between-wafers roadside thingy. Only this time we ate it in plastic cups. Talked and laughed all the way to the bus stop. I hesitated to send her home because it'd be quite late, but in the end, I sent her home. We did exchange a hug, albeit briefly. To me, she's all worth it.

She's right, of course. Fate brought us together. This here is a friend whom I can relate so much to. Among others, I can say we have much in common. She's just a great, great person. It's just too bad that we didn't have more time to catch up. Oh never mind. There's always tomorrow :)

Thursday

Exotic Car Spotted: Chrysler Crossfire roadster

I'm intending to add this new part into every post. Now if I see any nice car, I'll type as above. Spotted the Chrysler at a HDB carpark. The first thing that drew me to it was the ribbed hood, similar to the Chrysler Sebring's. At first I thought I had got it wrong, that I had indeed seen the Sebring. But I looked closer and the car was actually shorter. Because I was on a bus, I couldn't see it clearly but I knew it from pictures. As a devoted reader of Car and Driver, I could spot it right away. A nice roadster indeed.

Just back from Vivo with Audrey, Elisha, YM, Isam, Syu and Wai Siong. Not supposed to be out gallivanting but what the heck. Elisha dared me (or was it the other way round) to go into the Ladies'. I dared but chickened out at the last second. And now I have to buy her a Nike bag which costs as much as one month's pocket money. Was actually intending to get her something else for Xmas but looks like I'll be saddled with a bag to buy too. I'm starting to find her somewhat rather fascinating indeed :).

Oh well. Comp batt's dying. Need to post before I lose all this hard-written work. Ciao all

last week of school

That's me on the Electone on the left, Samuel my 'cuz on the Silent
Violin on the right.




Showroom Performance!!!



Yup indeed it is. My deepest apologies to all who have been disappointed with my lack of postings recently. Too damned busy.

Performance was a blast. My sincerest thanks to all who came, hope I didn't disappoint. First day, Samuel went off key on the violin. I'm not about to criticize, because my cousin is a brilliant violinist. He had a hand in the backing music for the local movie "The Maid" and he performed at the recent opening of VivoCity too, just to name a few. Not bad a portfolio. I, on the other hand, have only a meagre 2 performances to boot. But hey, I'm being offered to perform at hotels and what-not. And there's cash to be had too.

Second day wasn't too bad, but it was my turn to bust up and Samuel's turn to shine. Played a solo starting piece to get people's attention. Midway through the song I realised I was going to blow it big time, because I'd forgotten the rest of the notes. So I did the only smart thing an organist like me would do: I put the volume pedal down slowly, and pretended it was a short introductory piece, when I was in fact supposed to play the whole piece. No applause, please. Elisha came at the start of my first piece. Couldn't mistake her for anyone else. Who else wears such a bright T-shirt that SCREAMS "I'M HERE!" =) Appreciate her for coming, even though she was sick and all.

I never knew my Aston Martin post could gather so much attention. Too bad Tulip didn't get taken in. She said that "no one would describe their girlfriend in such a way". Argh =)

Jo and I kind of pissed each other off a bit that night. Don't want to go into details, but I hope she doesn't mull over it too long. We've already apologized to each other, hope this thing will just blow over. Well, just hope for the best, is all.

Dinner's a'coming. See you fellas around

Blues..again

Firstly, apologies to all those who got taken in by my previous stunt.
My girlfriend really was the Aston Martin DB9.
Needed to practice my writing a bit, thought I'd splash out on cars.

My apologies to my group today for not joining them for lunch and just generally being an asshole.
Sorry Elisha, Audrey, Yiming. No excuses from me. I was wrong.

Just had the worst argument of my life with my mum. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't get her to listen to my explanations and I don't think I ever can. She's making absurd assumptions about me. And she says she can't understand me. That's right. You wanna know why? Because she and I can't talk to each other. OF COURSE she can't fucking understand me. I admit I have made mistakes in my earlier years and that may have caused friction, but now, I understand. I'm more discerning now. But she will have none of it.

Do you know what kind of frustration I felt? It's intense. Deep, intense, pure frustration. Deep, intense, pure anger too. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't want to listen to me. I'm seriously considering not talking to her, not even looking at her. She doesn't seem like my mother anymore. She's like a stranger to me. I am so frustrated, so saddened that I can do this kind of thing. If you could just step into my shoes for one day you'd understand what I'm feeling.
Sigh. Was supposed to go out with Joanne today, but I guess it wasn't the right time. Told her to go out with her senior instead. I knew I'd just be torturing myself if I'd went along. Was supposed to go out with Amy for dinner also. But in the end, nothing materialised. All thanks to this FUCKING argument.

I think I should just go jump off the 20th floor.

who rides a wrecking ball into our guitars?

Have we never loved? How could you not see me standing there for you. I've always been there, every step of the way. Always for you; no one else could have taken your place. Don't cry now. You had me at hello. You've always had.

I don't think I've ever introduced my new girlfriend to anyone. I do apologise. She's quite shy, conservative, if you like. But she's quite beautiful. Stunning, almost. It's not the kind of beauty that shouts out "I'm pretty, look at me!" It's something more sedate, more refined. She does not demand attention outright, yet if you look closer, she captivates you. And once you fall for her, you know that you are in her clutches, and not even the grace of god can save you. Helpless, she'll draw you in with her arresting beauty, like the sweet scent of nectar to a honeybee. The minute I laid eyes on her, I knew she was mine. Her body is breathtaking. Shapely curves - as though sculpted by a master's hands - complement her full shoulders and inviting lips. Hips like an hourglass's complete a body that is to a female's what Adonis' is to a male's. Her legs are slim, though very nicely sculpted, and they'll put many a female's to shame. They are - in a word - stunning. She wears well tailored, expensive shoes. Hers are all custom-made. If I were to buy shoes for her lovely feet, I think I'd run of money faster than you can say "Swiss Bank". No doubt she has expensive tastes. She comes from a rich family and has an ever richer heritage. Her family has roots dating back to 1913. Indeed Britain has many families with lengthy histories. Her father is Ian Callum, retired designer. A very wealthy man. Although she was brought up by him for the better part of her life, he ran into problems and left the job of her upbringing to a close friend, Henrik Fisker. No doubt he has done well, to mold her into the woman she is today.

I've always desired English females. They are not like others from foreign lands. Their Swedish and German counterparts might boast stronger jawlines, more pronounced bone structure, but they lack the sort of finery and elegance that accompanies the English variety. The strength that they exude just takes your breath away. And what strength! I've been around that kind. They make the ordinary male just want to bow down and kiss their hands. Not that they'll extend them for you. They're too haughty for that. You don't have to ask them what job position they're in. In fact, you should never ask that. You can know just by looking at them. Underneath that benign exterior lies a heart and soul so deeply stirring, so utterly powerful that it could make a mere mortal shake in terror.

Now, I'm not going to tell you her name, because I want to keep her identity a secret. Not because she is British and a foreigner to our land, but because she deserves at least a modicum of respect and privacy without so many people crawling all over her. She and I have never met personally, but I know she will want to meet me, as I her. And when we meet, I know the experience will be truly exhilarating.

Monday Blues

Why can't you see that the person who cares the most is standing right in front of you? Why can't you see? It hurts me badly.


Have you ever heard of people describing the proudest moment in their lives? The day a student gets his scholarship, the day parents see their child take his first steps? Well, I've just experienced mine.

Attending the 80th birthday of former Catholic High principal Mr Zhang Ser Dian, we had to - at the beginning of the celebration - to all stand up and sing the school song. A flash of dread sparked through me. What if I forgot the words? I could never forgive myself. However, the moment the familiar opening tune reached my ears, I knew I could never forget. Standing there, at attention, the words flowed naturally from my mouth. 10 years spent singing the song, the words had never actually left me. A wave of pride billowed from the inner depths, and for the first time in my school life, I felt deep pride singing the words of my former school song. It was this sense of belonging: belonging to a family that held camaraderie in such high regard, and a institution that had richer a heritage than any other school. I felt unfathomable pride, yet at the same time, humbled. These men standing before me had come so far, and I was but one of the few who would carry the torch of Catholic High on. It was indeed, a very proud moment for me.

The dinner was average fare, but then, we weren't there for the dinner. Although I was easily among the youngest there, I felt no distance between me and the other guy from the '67 batch. We were all in it together. And it felt good. Performances by a Chinese lady and some young girls from some Chinese dance troupe livened up the evening, which was aptly rounded off by solo performances by the very talented Mr Zhang on his new violin, which was presented as a gift to him. No doubt that even at 80, he hadn't lost his voice to time, which was as clear as crystal, singing the popular Italian opera tune 'Ave Maria'. His voice was pitch-perfect as though it was coming from a man of 40, not an octogenarian.

Catholic High: The Spirit Lives On.

Review: Casino Royale (2006)

Casino Royale is a blast, both literally and figuratively. The starting chase sequence - on foot! - is something you Bond fans out there cannot afford to miss. It's SO fast paced, so thoroughly exciting you could have been forgiven if you thought you were watching The Amazing Race: Roadrunner Edition. The way Craig and the African baddie he is chasing do jumps so ludicrously acrobatic that could only be described as "nuts". Know the construction site part of the movie trailer? That's not even the half of it. But even though I won't say what the movie is all about, lest people cry foul over my "spoiler", I can say that's it's in every way a James Bond film.

However, there is one touch that I like. Since this is Casino Royale - which is supposedly Bond's first foray into the world of espionage - this film focuses more on his "growing up" stages than him fighting the baddies. This film, still helmed by Broccoli's Eon Productions - which has producing Bond movies since god knows when - shows new Bond Daniel Craig as a young Bond, determined to prove himself and his status as a 00 - someone who has a license to kill. Also, since this film is supposedly Bond's first mission for MI6, it shows him as a spy who's still rather rough around the edges. Gone - naturally - is the witty repartee and suave, spotlight-on charm that we are so used to seeing Bond in. In several parts Bond is speaking almost like a normal person. However the filmmakers couldn't do away with the wit entirely and that made for some really wonderful one-liners, e.g. his lady saves him from near death. The first sentence he speaks after regaining consciousness is "You ok?".

I suppose Bond still hasn't found his smooth-talking side yet. However, Craig/Bond still wears stylish Savile Row suits, all hand tailored, and his babe-licious women all still wear plunging necklines so low and deep they could have shown their pantyhose. That's why men watch Bond films. Own up, all of you (raises hand).

This film is Bond like we've come to know, but with a more emotional side. In this film, Bond is shown, for the first time (I believe), more involved with his women. In previous films, Bond is always shown being very detached from his women, lest I venture so far as to say only for sex. It's almost as if there's is actually a human inside all of him. More touchy-feely, though kisses abound. Sex scenes were dreadfully short, or perhaps the good folks at the Censorship Board thought maybe that that was one breast too many. In my opinion I think that's a major fallacy. If they had indeed edited it, then they are taking away the sensuality of it all that characterizes all Bond films.

All in all, in my opinion, this is one of the better Bond films created. Casting a relatively-unknown but very likeable and lookable Daniel Craig, Eon Productions has succeeded in producing a film that stands out above all other Bond films. It's more emotional, more involving and more intellectual, not to mention having plenty of heart-pounding chases sequences. But this film is long. I watched the 1945 one and it didn't stop till 2230. Nearly 3 hours. Needless to say some portions were slightly draggy. However in this case, the good portions far outweigh the bad and that earns it a 4/5 rating from me.

excellent

MY hand just automatically came up and snapped this shot
of this really hot showbabe. The car's only a damned Cefiro. Sorry,
hormones ran astray.
Bert's gonna like this. Possibly the hottest car there: the Lambo Murcielago LP640. A monster machine indeed. Monster price tag too.

Well for mere mortals like us, the likes of the Mazda MX-5, RX-8, Honda NSX and what-not are suitably within reach. That's for all you boy racers out there. I guess I lose on bragging rights this motorshow because the German giants BMW, Audi and the three-pointed star weren't there. Euro motoring was there in spirit, though (I believe). It was fun while it lasted. Was there with Johnathan and at long last, Jerold. Haven't seen him for so long. Ended up playing X-Box 360 after a mere half an hour. I guess the sirens' song of Gears of War and Project Gotham Racing 2 was too tempting. And I'll have to use some vulgarity here: the visuals were fan-fucking-tastic. There's no other phrase descriptive enough.

Speaking of visuals, the motorshow babes were wonderful in their own right too. Some were so hot they could make even the coldest, most detached man sweat. Some others were, as Jerold so succinctly put it, "Like as if Borneo Motors was running on a tight budget." (Toyota take note: motorshow babes are supposed to be young, fleshy and curvy. NOT old, fleshy and curvy. There's a distinction.)

Plenty of variety to whet one's appetite for vehicular ogling. Generally the vehicles displayed were mostly your run-of-the-mill family mover or 4 door saloon. Like hey, all right, this is just the Singapore Motorshow. Not exactly the Farnborough of motorshows. Having said that, I think Geely took that one step too far. The Chinese marque has just introduced their range of vehicles into Singapore. And I for one, think they are a terrible buy. The MX's doors, for instance, close with a hollow resonance, and Jerold and I also heard the steel door rattle a bit. Not good. The cabin's plastics were also built down to a price, with stray slivers of plastic appearing on the sills of the driver's door map pocket. Not good. I agree with Johnathan that the cabin looks outdated too. It doesn't have style and looks about as refreshing as a dirty swimming pool. Again, dashboard plastics are hollow and thin as cardboard. Its 16V, DOHC engine is mated to a 4 speed tranny, allowing the thinly-disguised rickshaw to hit 150km/h. How it can even stay together at 80km/h, I wonder. Even though it's cheap and (all right, I relent) relatively economical, it just doesn't add up. Brands like Skoda, Fiat and even Kia offer so much better motoring quality at a comparative level. Cheap pricing is not a virtue if the entire package is compromised.

Enough of cars. Test today was pretty all right, though confidence is on the low side. GEMS tomorrow, hope I can stay awake. Organ hasn't been practiced yet (what's new?). Made Audrey her card, which I think took me close to 3-4 hours. Just for colouring. I'm pretty pleased with myself because I think I did a rather neat job. Still haven't apologized to my pens though.

fun stuff

Gotta tell you guys the most exciting thing today man. I changed my GUI from XP to Vista's. Now how cool is that? Means now my laptop has the look of Windows Vista and frankly, it isn't disappointing at all. Point your browser to www.windowsxlive.net and download the package from there, install and voila. It really can make people think you've changed to Vista because this gizmo TOTALLY changes your interface to look like the much-vaunted Aero interface Vista uses. Freaking cool. See through windows and all. Even my startup graphics display Windows Vista Ultimate, instead of Windows XP Pro. You know the little window that pops when you boot up, that says "Windows is starting up", then with the stylized Windows XP above it? Well, mine shows Windows Vista Ultimate now, the name of a real version of Vista. Cool man. BUT BE WARNED. This program changes your whole GUI so system instability may occur. It didn't mine though, so I'm really happy.

Saw the so-called fake ang moh guy who goes around begging for money. I couldn't tell whether he was a phoney or not because I wasn't really looking. I was at MOS Burger at Plaza Singapura today, doing maths when suddenly he came in. He handed what looked like two plastic-laminated cards, each the size of a credit card, to several people. I presume they had things written on them like "Please help me. I'm deaf, mute, dumb or all three depending on how much money you can part with". He stayed back for a while to see whether any of the 3 people he handed the cards to would donate. None did. He then silently (of course) walked back and collected the cards. I think someone should investigate to see whether he's for real. I don't mind giving some cash to a poor soul with disabilities, but if he's not for real, sorry dude. Not a cent.

Paper today was superbly nicely half done, if you get my drift. Only half elated that I can actually pass well. Tomorrow's and the next day's papers are kinda scary though. Math and Structured Programming. After that it's kinda freedom for me but I'm not resting up. Got my performance to take care of.

German class was great today. Saw Katrin, my previous teacher. She was looking absolutely gorgeous. Then my temperature rose. I think the air-con suddenly broke down at that moment. Hot. Yep.

Haven't spoken to Jo in a long while. CAN YOU PLEASE CALL, WOMAN. Stop hibernating.


Song of the week: Love Walks In - Van Halen

goddamned test

GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED! GODDAMNED PEEE PAPER FAILED!

Oh did I mention, goddamned PEEE paper failed too? I think I didn't.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. It was everything gone wrong. Don't wanna talk about it. Mr Program Director for PEEE, you can take that paper and shove it up your ass. Only then will I tell you how many turns the coil around the electromagnet should have (hint: It's to do with how far up your ass I'll shove that paper).

Bert's been a hand in encouraging me to not look back. Those few sentences of his have at least given me back a modicum of faith in myself, and for that I'm deeply thankful to him. But for Pete's sake I don't want a modicum, least of all now. I want FULL confidence in myself. Back to my old self: confident, forward looking and optimistic (I could add hardworking in but I'd have to work on that). Now I think I'm just stuck in a funk. A blue funk.

KAI YI YOU THE MAN.
THINK LIKE A MAN.
TALK LIKE A MAN.
ACT LIKE A MAN.
BE THE MAN.

Shoot For Thrill

Wish me luck.

Tomorrow's my first exam. I hope I can understand the questions. Help me Jesus, help me Jewish God, help me Tom Cruise. By the way, that line was taken from Talladega Nights, the part where Will Ferrell runs around the track screaming "I'm on fire!! I'm on fire!!"

No seriously. The sense of foreboding just won't go away. It's still residing, smoldering. Like a dormant volcano that still has one eye open. Like a bomb that's ready to blow.

And I'm having that feeling. Again. I can't get it out of my damned HEAD. Somebody just pull the trigger and shoot me. I MUST NOT think of it. I tell you, it's not easy feeling this bugger-all, for a girl too.

Shoot for thrill, way to kill. I've got my gun at the ready, gonna fire at will. I'm gonna get you now.

troubles

Just switched to Blogger beta. Hope it works.

I'll be frank. My exams are on Monday, but I can't seem to study. No matter how I try, I just can't get myself to study. This has never happened to me before. It's not that I'm lazy. I drew up a detailed program for myself this week and promised to keep to it. I didn't. I'm really very worried that I may retain this year. I'm on the verge of desperation now, a man who sees his future on very shaky ground. Not that I'm not trying my best; I am. I'm giving it my all. But if I don't pass this time, I will retain. And that's something I don't want to see happening. I don't want to disappoint people around me. Especially my parents. Poly education is very expensive and it's no joke. And I don't want to do an entire year's worth of the same work I did previously.

I'm really very worried. I'm starting to think I've chosen the wrong diploma to pursue. But I don't want to fall into that pit of frustration and angst. I may not get back out at all. All I need to do is get past this year.

Why am I so unmotivated, especially now? Why can't I study? What's happening to me?

today and yesterday

Seems like the number of hits on my site per day has nearly doubled after my Wee Shu Min entry two days prior. I know it's a crap job compared to some really dedicated and talented writers but hey, I'm on my way there.

Went out with Audrey for lunch today. Situation amicably resolved, we're now two very happy people. Busted that problem through, slam, bam, thank you Ma'am. Let's hear no more of it. Congrats and handshakes all around for getting a nice Silver for Napfa though, Aud. We traipsed down to Cash Converters at TP where I had the most pleasant surprise. Peeking out underneath a layer of dust were a row of computers squatting atop the topmost shelf of a metal rack. Wait, don't click the Back button so fast. These were no ordinary PCs. They weren't even PCs. They were Apple G3 imacs, lime green, apparently donated by The Overseas Family School.

I took one look at them and instantly fell in love with them AND the price tag. S$89 bucks for an imac!! I couldn't believe my eyes. However one of them was priced slightly higher at S$185. Audrey said it could be because it was higher specced and I think she's right. Although how much higher specced I don't know. Oh man. I am really in love with those computers. Just look at their sleek designs, funky colors and all-in-one design. Apple really produced something short of a miracle in their G3s.

I'm really tempted to buy one of those. I don't mind parting with S$89 bucks (all right, I don't think Dad does, anyway) to own a piece of technology has shaped the way the computing world has looked at desktop pieces. It already has made its way to CNet's (or some IT website) list of the "100 Most Influential Products". Who has any advice for me?

what the fuck?

This is ridiculous. I can't believe my ears.


I cannot believe I'm actually hearing this.


This is bullshit.

a weekend of work

It indeed has been a tough weekend. Grappled a bit with so many emotional roller coasters and mood pitfalls. Feeling a tinge of that Sec 2 confusion coming back. Maybe it's because there are so many things happening around me that remind me of days past. And yeah. You could say jealousy is part of the equation too. But I try to keep that part to a minimum because once you are jealous, your mind gets poisoned. You start to imagine all sorts of nonsense that probably only exists in your mental domain. And once you start, you can't get out of that vicious cycle. Soon the only person in your life will be the person in the white lab coat staring at you through a small window. In a place called IMH.


Enough of that drivel. I recently got an email that included that elitist crap Wee Shu Min's blog entry. I know it's a little late to comment on this, but hey, such stuff ought to be made classic. Predictably my reaction was WHAT THE CLUCK?! I mean, come on. You're first and foremost an MP's daughter. Have the decency to respect the people your daddy is serving. Or even if you don't, you could probably just shut that golden mouth of yours up. Which probably has seen its far share of money-asking. Just like you probably haven't had to save money in your entire life, which a friend of mine so aptly put. You and other elitist bastards probably don't even know the meaning of "hardship". Oh yeah, keep that up. You're just strengthening the belief that kids like you with a silver spoon in their mouth and with daddies and mommies richer than the average Joe has no clue on what's happening to the ordinary folk. And you have the GALL to nitpick others. Let me quote:

"sad derek attracted more than 50 comments praising him for his poignant views, joining him in a chorus of complaints that climax at the accusation of lack of press freedom because his all-too-true views had been rejected by the straits times forum. while i tend to gripe about how we only have one functioning newspaper too, i think the main reason for its lack of publication was that his incensed diatribe was written in pathetic little scraps that passed off as sentences, with poor spelling and no grammar."

Oh yeah sure. Keep up that elitist talk, Miss Made-In-RJC. Maybe people really will start to sympathise with you and start to criticise that guy for usage of poor English. Oh sure. Especially the ordinary folk living in HDB apartments and probably earning the equivalent of your pocket money each month and being less educated than you. Of course they'll sympathise, won't they? By the way, Shu Min? Names are spelt with a capital letter. Seems like you need some correction in your English. Mine seems to be letter perfect. And I'm not from RJC.

Oh wait wait there's more. There's even more. If you read on, you'll notice she criticises people like Derek even more! Ooh aah. How surprising. Here's another quote:

i should think not. dear derek is one of many wretched, undermotivated, overassuming leeches in our country, and in this world. one of those who would prefer to be unemployed and wax lyrical about how his myriad talents are being abandoned for the foreigner's, instead of earning a decent, stable living as a sales assistant. it's not even about being a road sweeper. these scumbags don't want anything without "manager" and a name card.


Oh sorry. It seems you've misunderstood the situation, Miss Wee. It's not because people like Derek don't choose to. It's probably because he's been shortchanged by the system now, or whatever problems he has. Job retraining should solve that. Oh you've never heard of that? Right. It's probably because since you're part of the elite, the government will side with you and protect you. Heck, who knows. Your daddy could be pulling strings now to get you a job even before you've gotten your A level cert. Don't tell me that's impossible because it is not.

People like you, Miss Wee, are just plain failed products of the education system here. You do not understand anything about the world around you. To coin a Chinese phrase, "jing de wa", you are a frog in a well. Looking up at the world through that small opening, and that's all you know. You epitomise the kind of people who, throughout their whole life, know nothing but silver spoons and clear skies. Especially since you're an MP's kid. What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a clear-cut case of a government employee's daughter thumbing her nose at the common folk. Poor people are not there by choice. And the rich have a moral obligation to look after the poor. Too bad Singaporeans like yourself are apathetic to the plight of the poor man. "The brutal truth", as your dad put it in his apology? What brutal truth? The only truth I see here is that this won't be a lesson you elites "can learn from". It will never be. This problem is too entrenched in the hierarchical system of Singapore's society. People like you will - after all this has blown over - continue to laugh and view from a distance the widening divide between rich and poor in Singapore.

Your comments don't count. Not even by a fair margin. They're just ramblings. Insensitive comments made by an equally insensitive person. I even feel bad about calling you a person because you don't even care.

You know, normal people do?

all in a week's work

Just finished watching Michael Moore's documentary Fahrenheit 9/11. It is an extremely gripping film about the Bush Administration. Rephrase. It is about Moore's take on the Bush Admin's stance on the war on terror. Basically the film touches mostly on the pre- and post-911 facades - if I may - of the White House. It really hits you hard when you realise that so many men and women are being sent out to fight a war that is not theirs, to fight for a policy that is not theirs, and to ultimately die in a country that is not theirs. After watching this film, you cannot help but wonder: what exactly is The Most Powerful Man On Earth doing? It is not the American people who want to fight this war. It by the misguided ideals of the men and women in power in their country who send them out to fight: so that they don't have to. However, I still revere America. It is still the home of the American Dream: To work hard, earn money, build your life, and one day come out on top. It is still the country of hopes and dreams. It is a country where the ideals of peace and freedom are still held dear, and it is also a country where people can freely express themselves. Try doing a kind of film like that on the PAP in Singapore. You'd probably have the IAD knocking on, no, DOWN, your front door the next day.

I apologise for the wrong heading in my previous entry. I kept thinking yesterday was a Friday.

I guess my love for cars and all things automotive is taking a huge turn. Yesterday night, I spent a grand total of 3 hours surfing the net and bookmarking all the pages that had useful information for me. See, what I intend to do is self-teach myself the entire workings of a car engine. And it's not that difficult, really. I'm beginning to understand what things like a crankshaft, transmission, cam, valve, do. Granted I haven't learned them all in detail yet, but I think I'm getting there. It is really interesting to see the bits work together as a whole, fully functioning engine and spit things out like torque, power, etc. Hey, I could be your mechanic one day ;).

Audrey likes to bite me. Rephrase. Audrey bit me twice today. And I have the battle scars to prove it. Two red circles, each probably the size of a one-dollar coin lie grinning up at me from my right arm right as I type this. They should go away tomorrow (I think) or I'll have some serious explanation to do.

"Right mum, the dog bit me again. Twice."
"Say what? Since when did his teeth become the size of peanuts?"
"No see, it was my friend's dog, and I was..."

You get the picture.

the end of a week

Well, it's a Friday all over again...

The haze has improved, thank God for that. I wouldn't want to be breathing in any more of that shit any more than I have to. It's killing me. I realise that the air was so bad my lungs turned black. Like my face.

Oh and my new haircut drew much attention to me. Lots of it. Wait, let's just say, my whole class. I mean, the first person I saw today was Elisha. I stepped out of the lift and the FIRST THING SHE DID was to stare at my hair. Yikes. And then along came the rest. And the rest, they say, is history.

Soccer today was tough luck. The worst thing I did was to let in the last ball. AND THE BALL WAS ROLLING TOWARDS ME, at a top speed of, oh, 5m/hour? I couldn't believe I let it slip through my fingers. Literally. Blow me. What a crock of shit.

And Dil - sorry, GIL - bert just finished his Malayan paper today. Apparently was frickin' easy and not that tough as everyone thought it would be. Considering he was freaking out the night before, it ain't bad. And hearing that, I'm starting to feel nostalgic, because I feel like returning to the old days, where everything was so carefree. Looking back, I realise I have actually taken all in secondary school for granted. Teachers feeding us all they had for exams, working their butts off for us. I really realise how lucky I am to have come from Catholic High. 10 years in that school, and I really feel that it has become a part of me. I am sure many old boys will recall the old days fondly. Especially my class. Even though my group of friends and I weren't exactly relishing in the class spirit, I am most fond of the memories we had. Buying food and stashing it in our lockers, going to play LAN 2 weeks before O levels and not caring whether we passed (sorry Mum) and generally being the class the discipline committee loved to hate. But I swear, looking back now, I love every minute of it.

And I will never trade those memories in. Not even for the world.

mental retardation

Hi again there

I’m typing this and using my method of typing in MS Word and later transferring it to blogger at home.

I’ve been irritated lately, not too sure why. It’s like all those things are going slightly overboard and – in a way – irking me. And no, this time it’s not my old friend the green-eyed monster. It’s more of a distinct expression of irritation. I just cannot take it when it starts. All right, maybe once or twice, I don’t mind. But it just riles me when it goes on and on. I don’t know whether it makes others feel like I do, but hey, I’m just one individual. I don’t want to say any more. Maybe Miss Koh was right. There’s more to life than that silly thing we all sometimes lust for but get hurt in return. She and I have plenty in common.

Amy’s having her O levels now. Miss each other quite a bit. Quite concerned for her too, hope she steels herself and does herself and her mum proud (well, me too, if I may say so :)). Hope to meet up with her after her Os are done. We haven’t seen each other in, oh, many many months. I still owe you your birthday gift too, Amy. I haven’t forgotten (:

Oh yeah and the most amazing thing just happened. I call it a miracle. At the EXACT MOMENT as the credits of Cellular on HBO starting rolling, my phone rang. AND MY RINGING TONE’S BEAT was EXACTLY the same as that of the song being played with the credits. I could not believe my ears. Nothing could have been more exactingly timed. It was indeed a miracle.

Jo called last night. I don't think I told her exactly what she wanted to hear but it was my true feeling at that point in time. Maybe that's my way of dealing with things like that, dishing out tough love. I care about how she is, that's why I bother.

I cut my hair too. I told the guy I wanted to keep the same style as my hair was before.

He cut a David-Beckham-fin lookalike. Mum says I look like a punk now.

Cos it'd feel so empty without me

Wah knnbccbkttljbcbk (in case you didn't know, all those are swear words)

I took the pains to take photos for Syu's group and Dominic took pictures for us too. In the end, the damn camera had to produce an error and screw up EVERY single photo. In other words, the whole memory stick had screwed up and errored, so I had to format and erase everything on it, crying the whole time. My heartfelt apologies to all who wanted to see me in drag.

Oh right, the skit.

It was the bravest thing that I had ever done ever since going up on stage and proclaiming to everyone my goals in Adam Khoo's "I Am Gifted, So Are You" motivational camp for teens. It was a blast, that skit. I couldn't possibly describe it all for you fellas because it was so damned funny, but I can tell you that the class was in stitches. Angelina pronounced "that was so gay" after we ended class, which pretty much summed it up. I think I put on an average performance, though I could have put more emphasis on the crying.

(And they could see I was using a thermometer as a pregnancy test kit!)

Ok screw the skit. I'm NOT A GAY. PERIOD. Anyway, I have news on my performance dates and time, if all you out there want to see me play the brand-spanking new Electone Stagea. I will be performing at Thomson Plaza 2-3 December, that's a Saturday and Sunday. Timing for both days is 1500-1530h. Playing the Silent Violin beside me will be my cousin Samuel, who also is a Yamaha employee. We'll be playing together. Songs performed will be Enya's Orinoco Flow, O Holy Night, theme from Da Chang Jing and Feliz Navidad, in that order. I'm actually quite looking forward to this performance. Makes me want to raise my standard higher.

Went to Eunice's place today to help her with English. I felt slightly weird, 'cos I'm not used to dispensing advice like that. Man, one thing I'm envious is that her study table is like nearly a metre and a half longer than mine, and twice as clean. Jeez. What would it take me to get to that level of cleanliness. And that table. Goodness.

Haze is clearing up, thank goodness. I won't have to breathe in any more of this peasoup. Hope the stupid Indonesian Government gets its act together and start realising that trees are NOT MEANT TO BE BURNT. Maybe the more they burn, the less oxygen gets to their brains and the more moronic they become.

today's thoughts

Rehearsals are killing me. I'm supposed to be studying but it's kinda hard to make that target. Somebody help me.

Still, I've worried that I'll be booted out of the male fraternity after my Friday act. I think I'll just bury myself in the ground.

Went out with Audrey, Yiming, Wai Siong to VivoCity today. Pretty damned big, I don't think we could finish walking it. Bought some Hotwheels at Toys R Us. Ford Mustang and 70's Chevelle. Absolute sexy bastards. I want some of those for my real cars.

Sometimes, I wonder why parents have children. They sometimes don't seem to care, or are oblivious to the face that young children need lots - and I mean LOTS - of attention. Today, I was on the bus when I saw something that made me cringe. Two mothers were sitting on one seat, and one of their daughters, a young'un, was sitting on a seat in front of them. The two were talking, and the young girl was trying - desperately, in vain, whatever - to show her mother something that interested her on the cover of her magazine. And the stupid mother just gave her a glance and continued chatting with her friend. This happened twice.

Tell me, all you fellas. If you were interested in the colourful toy on the cover of a magazine and the only person you could tell it to was your mummy, would you want her to listen to you? Would you want her to smile and talk with you about it? To engage your mummy in a conversation that you would enjoy? Too bad this mother doesn't know crap about parenting.

I swear my kids will never have this kind of treatment. Beware, my future wife. Don't you dare treat my kids like that either.

all in a week's work

Audrey today said the most beautiful phrase I had ever heard in my whole life.

“Look at how much fucking haze is there in the air.”

I don’t think I will ever hear another more beautiful sentence ever in my life. The juxtaposition of her words was too perfect. It was like Freud came to life again and was reincarnated in the form of her. I could have cried.

Haze is getting worse by the day and the hour. The air is turning into a soup. And I still blame the stupid peabrained Indonesian Government for causing it. Thanks to them I have endless sneezing fits now that can last for up till 10 sneezes in a row. I think if this shitstorm of a haze gets worse, I’ll have to wear masks. Irresponsible Indonesian Government and their equally crackpot farmers. I won’t even trust them to manage an aquarium, let alone a country. This is like smoking pot every day with zero enjoyment. The only mind-altering property this smoke has is to make me even more enraged. I bet if doctors cut me open now all they’ll find is smoke particles in my head and blood, hence the decreased ability to think straight.

My gang has decided to gatecrash my house to rehearse for my day of judgment. I think after I perform that hilarious act I’ll be known as the class gay. God, if any of my Cat High friends know about the insane stunt I’m about to pull on Friday, I’ll be booted out of the male fraternity. But it’s all right. In the name of fun, I’m preparing to risk my manhood.

And a cool fact: I typed this and the last post on buses and MRTs. Entered it in on MS Word, copy-pasted it onto blogger when I got home, and voila. Instant blog entry.

blazing Hades

I AM IN POSSESSION OF AN IJ UNIFORM. MUA har har.

Thanks to me having to play the part of a pregnant woman in my group’s Character Development skit next week I have to use an IJ uniform so kindly provided by Elisha who incidentally, is playing a guy. I’m so proud of myself. I have to play the pregnant girl, girly accent and all. Something to do with abortion and teenage pregnancy and god knows what else. I have to go put on that ridiculous apron (sorry IJs, it’s unnerving to be a girl), and act the part. Man, I don’t know if we’re putting on another episode of “My Wife and Kids” or a serious skit involving the elaboration of proper SP core values, which coincidentally is also called SPCORE. What the acronym stands for, I cannot remember. But it’s good.

Went to SRC for drinks yesterday. It was the most relaxing day I had had in a while. Went to school for SPAVC (SP Aviation Club) meeting, where the president tried to start his first plane in 2 years but failed miserably. According to Mr Langah as I have termed him, the plane had a faulty fuel system that needed to be repaired before anything could be done. Then after that I went to SRC to have drinks and meet up with my German classmates. I didn’t have drinks, I had 5 glasses of Coke, Or was that 6? I can’t remember. We had so much fun talking and laughing. And then there was Katrin my former teacher who got invited. Man, she had a perm and was looking absolutely gorgeous. As for Diana, man. Well, let’s just say that dancers have to look sexy or they won’t be called that. Incredible. I wanted a beer but decided against it. I’m underage, and it’s ILLEGAL to have drinks under 18. Tsk tsk. Now where’s my vodka?

Having some trouble with my new specs. The right arm isn’t fitting my face and it’s cutting into my right ear. I hate it. To have to spend nearly 250 worth of dough and yet have to suffer? The optician said it was probably because it wasn’t yet seasoned properly and so told me I needed some time to get used to it.

Haze is getting bitchier today. PSI reading’s probably in the high 90’s or 100’s. It’s absolutely disgusting. To have to face this stuff every day of the week, 24/7 is really not my idea of healthy living. For fuck’s sake, can’t the Indonesian Government do something to at least PREVENT having to have ASEAN breathe down its neck every time the air turns soupy? Those morons really don’t know how to run a country. I know you dickheads can’t do anything now but twiddle your fucking thumbs but at least, please, for the sake of all that’s good and holy on this earth, STOP BURNING YOUR FORESTS AND PLANTATIONS! You’re giving Singaporeans asthma.

BMW ///M5 lover

A grasshopper kept me company on the bus on the way home.

Well, not really what you think. The grasshopper was happily clinging to the side of the bus on the top of the window sill. It was huge; and beautiful. It had a mottled green exo and had the longest legs I had ever seen. Sadly as most Singaporeans are, most of the commuters were too busy finding gold on the floor or too wrapped up in their own world to notice a wonderful piece of nature (despite its size).

The haze has been a killer these few days, especially today. It was literally a soup when I came home. Visibility was down to nearly 1km only. And today was the first time I could not see clearly down my road when I looked. Totally unbelievable. Thanks to it too I have a perpetual sore throat. Goddamned Indonesian farmers.

NASA's telescopes have discovered a planet that is something short of amazing. Unlike Earth and similar planets in our Solar System that are evenly heated, Upsilon Andromeda b has one side of it baked in between 2,550 to 3,000 degrees Fahrenheit (1,400 to 1,650 degrees Celsius) but only minus 4 to 450 degrees Fahrenheit (20 to 230 degrees Celsius) on the dark side. "If you were moving across the planet from the night side to the day side, the temperature jump would be equivalent to leaping into a volcano," said study leader Brad Hansen of the University of California, Los Angeles. Anyone remember the film Chronicles of Riddick? Remember the scene where he and couple of other escapees tried to run to the hangar to escape, all this while being chased by the scorching heat? Such a planet conjures up images of exotic, distant, mysterious heavenly bodies. Wow.

Went running with Audrey yesterday despite the haze. Made her go through my NCC warm up routine. Rather satisfying performing it after nearly a 6 month absence. I managed a 6 round, 15-min-odd run. Not too bad if I might say so. Could have ran faster but accompanied her for her 3 round, ah, stint. Went to meet Eunice for lunch after that. She was supposed to come run with us but overslept. Audrey and her had much fun trying to kill one of those machines that you slot a dollar coin in, turn a handle and a little dinky toy comes out. Problem was they didn't quite get what they wanted so both of them spent a combined amount of $10 trying to coax Donald Duck and some other toy out of the machine, to no avail.

And I'm the youngest.

Jo called from school. Completely forgot today was her first day of school. Amazing how two weeks of holidays can pass so fast. Her cat came back home to her, and I'm really happy for her. She had been agonizing over that missing feline for nearly 2 weeks. Maybe God really is looking down on us.

Tomorrow's start of a new term of German. Hopefully I get back Katrin, my old teacher. She's the only teacher I feel comfortable with: her explanations are clear-cut and precise.

And my new imaginary girlfriend is a BMW M5. Imaginary. That's the word.

mostly real happenings

They built the schoolhouse with simple tools, but have now called in excavators to tear down the schoolhouse in which 5 Amish schoolgirls were shot at point blank range in Penn., USA. An ironic twist to a terrible incident. Bart County chief says it will bring them some closure. I don't know how much closure you can get when your kid has had her head blown off by some crazed gunman. I know what I will do if that were my kid. I'd blow the bastard's head off too.


Sept 11 happened all over again. A light plane piloted by Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle and his instructor crashed into a skyscraper in the heart of Manhattan on Wednesday. The log book has been found, together with the prop and engine. Oddly enough, investigators have not confirmed that a mayday signal had been sent out from the plane prior to impact. The crash "ignited a fire and sent up smoke that could be seen across the city skyline" as according to CNN.com. Eyewitness accounts report that the plane was seen to be "banking very steeply", which is unusual for a light plane. Both Lidle and his instructor were killed, instantly maybe. God bless their souls.


Was made the class clown today. Was playing CS when Audrey traipsed along and decided to give me a spot of tattooing. Whipping out my highlighter, she proceeded to decorate both my arms with my name IN BRIGHT PINK. All this time I was amusing others with my, yes, squeals. Since I had put on a high pitch for fun, the rest of the time, I was either known as gay, sissy, girl, or all three. In someone's words, "even the girls don't sound like that". I'm not to blame, geddit? How'd you expect me to punch holes in someone with my M4 carbine when I couldn't even GET MY HAND ON MY MOUSE, let alone press my left button. Jesus. Played soccer later, which left me with an aching hand.


Am I too sensitive? Sometimes I think I am, and I really hate myself for having this "high sensitivity". I interpret some sentences as offensive and probably reply in the same fashion, eg the hurt and offended tone, when that person mightn't mean it at all. I feel like crap.

deep six

Sitting on the 167 back from a movie outing and dinner, listening to Marley's Don't Worry, Be Happy, I tried to rearrange my thoughts, getting them into order. I failed miserably though. Being melancholic didn't help one bit. I watched the man in the seat next to me flip through his wallet, the two boys standing and talking animatedly, the woman with a bored expression on the seat opposite me, but from a distance, as if I were looking through someone else's eyes.


Sometimes, I really cannot understand myself. The human mind is a temperamental thing, but I suspect my mind is even more susceptive and sensitive to external inputs. Why is it I have the ability to listen and help people out with their problems but I can't do the same for myself? Isn't it as easy as practising what you preach, people might say. Honestly, I cannot understand it myself. Naturally after helping so many of my friends overcome obstacles, I should at least have an idea of how to handle the same situation if it happened to me. However this appears not to be the case.


Today was one of those really melancholic days. I guess it's probably due to my sensitive nature, but I felt somewhat left out in the group. E and D seemed to be one group, followed by A and Y in the other. Both groups were talking much and I couldn't seem to join in any of their conversations. I didn't seem to fit in at all. At times I felt like the proverbial loner in the group, caught up in his thoughts, seeming to others as withdrawn, which was pretty far from what I was really experiencing. Maybe watching WTC made me turn sombre. There is a particular area in the field of psychology called group dynamics. Maybe I should read up on that and find out why I was so depressingly down after dinner.


Not to say my entire day was ruined by my oft-ill-tempered head. Had wonderful fun at Carl's J with my Pastrami Burger. It was so large my jaw hurt midway through from opening wide to chow down. I had Elisha to thank for mixing all the drinks into a witch's brew in my cup and dropping in French Fries for added flavour. Had my sister to thank for ending my night on a high note by sending my an SMS along the lines of "Don't fucking lie to me that you're coming back at 9, yadda yadda". Thankfully I wasn't that incensed like I would be last time. I realised that my temper has been wonderfully stable in recent months. I no longer get angry at hurtful words.


I just cry.

in class

first time blogging in class.


getting new specs. BROWN!


feeling better. YAY!


failing tests soon. FUCK!


amy called me twice while my parents were around. THANKS! :)


need to listen. BYE!

shots

Opera's doing me a disservice. I shall terminate her services immediately.


And she's an internet browser, mind you.


Well, nothing has changed from my last post. My emotions are still running around as though they had a life of their own. I'm still confused, still agitated, still emotional, still jealous. Doesn't that remind you of the Kai Yi you used to know? The one that was full of shit? Of course it does. Takes me back to the good old days when all I could see was a goddamned mess in front of my eyes. Damn near everything is a mess to me now. Social life, school life, home life, love life (a loser like me still has crushes, yes) seems to be all running haywire. Maybe I'll just jump off a building one of these days. Save me the trouble of having to go through all this shit and just end others' misery of having to deal with me. Sounds like a wonderful idea, doesn't it.


Not that I can't have fun with my remaining life. Went out with Joanne to play pool today. Realised that I wasn't that bad at pool after all. Managed to shoot some tight, neat shots, and so did she. Silly as it sounds I've never seen a female play pool before. No funny ideas there. I don't know if I was being oversensitive but the meeting seemed to lack closeness in it. There were times when I felt I was a stranger. I truly wish that isn't the case at all. Maybe we just haven't been meeting each other face to face often. Then accompanied her to Spotlight at PS after that, and bought some DVDs when we actually wanted to go to Yamaha. Jo ended up buying X-Men 3 and I Event Horizon, a film so freakily eerie and spooky I wish I had never watched it.


Came home, scared the bejesus out of myself with that unholy film, ate, went for a 1hr 15min walk with dad, and am now here typing. I don't know. My life has been awfully down lately. I'm probably having a bout of depression. Maybe I'm going to break up or break down. Maybe I'm being an asshole to people around me. Maybe I'm just that unlikeable. Maybe I'm the worst kind of friend anyone could have.


Maybe I'm right?

a today

What am I doing? Why should I be feeling this way? It never occurred to me that I mightn't be able to handle it, and now that I can't, what can I do? It's making me feel uneasy. Though I haven't actually said it out yet, I also don't wish that it really manifests itself in some way that I will regret. Throughout the entire day today I literally wasn't really listening to lessons even though I understood all of it. And a bad cold had to come around to make me even more miserable. I haven't felt this confused, anxious, full of shit or all three since god knows when.

My mum isn't making things better too. Just that day she and my dad had a huge quarrel over something, and I stepped in and tried to explain things. She shouted right back at me. Little did I know that she would walk off, and the pain of that action hurt me so much it made me cry. Right in front of nearly everyone in the hawker centre, together with my uncle. Shit, I'm even tearing as I'm typing this. Do you know the pain I felt then? It really tore at me. What can I say? Life isn't fair at times, you know. Even God knows that. He created us. Sometimes I think God doesn't listen to us, or He may be just testing us. What I really need now is someone who can lend an ear to me, someone to whom I can pour out everything that's eating into me now. I want to tell Joanne but something bad already has happened to her and I don't want to make her feel any more worse. I feel so stuffed up, emotions so pent up that I can just break down any time. It's not like me to be this way. I don't want to be affected by all this. Just today Audrey bullied me in school. I know full well it was in the name of fun, but I really felt so agitated then. Throughout the day I had to struggle to contain my emotions, fluctuating as they were. It's my state of mind now, and it's doing this to me. Audrey, don't be offended. It was through no fault of yours, but mine alone.


I don't want to cry anymore.

Ich wär so gerne Millionär

Thanks to countless individuals literally threatening me to update, I shall. Hence.


School has restarted, naturally, and marks, projects and homework have all come flying back. Can't complain. School is school, after all. We have been shifted to another class, which looks like a converted barnhouse with whitewashed walls. I swear, the other class is having a whale of a time with their new home, aka our old class. Compared to our current shack, theirs is like the Hilton. Plush seats, clean walls, modern equipment, what more could one ask for? Repeated threats for them to vacate the premises or ''heavy gunfire will follow'' have gone unheeded. GIT YER ASSES OUT OF OUR CLASS!


German class is tough. We're learning new verb forms now, which is about as much fun as having a red-hot poker driven through your left eye. But I'll manage. We had fun the last lesson, listening to German pop group's Die Prinzen's Millionär, which is a song about this guy who wants to be a millionaire and the things he's going to do, eg. rob a bank, be a popstar etc. It's a fantastically catchy song. I fell in love with the tune when I first heard it. Elegantly simple yet brilliantly memorable. And the lyrics are really funny too.


Accompanied Audrey to reconfigure her laptop. For a good 6 hours we sat there, me attempting to study (in vain) my DE, and her also attempting to knit until a knot screwed up the process. I helped with unravelling the thread/yarn/whatever. I never knew knitting was so fun. No really, it seemed to me. Although I know how to knit about as much as the Incredible Hulk, it seems like fun to me. Must try my hand at it. Knitters beware. After the 6 hour fiasco, and after countless "excuse me Sir why is it like that", "wah lau restart again" and my favourite "shit we forgot to type that", the computer was done and we went to Junction 8 for makan. We met up with Eunice and I got introduced to Audrey's friend Amy. Together they call themselves the Powerpuff gals but you'll catch me dead trying to elaborate on that. Was the only guy in the group so was plenty nervous. And I knew my Chinese was about as fluent as an Eskimo's so I stuck to speaking good ol' English instead.


I hope I'm not conveying a wrong message. I don't want him to think otherwise. He thinking that I'm robbing him is the last thing I want to happen. And today, someone said something that terrified me. I can tell that sowed a seed of suspicion in him. In light of all that happened, it seems true, but it truly isn't. I don't want to disrupt anything. I wish I could explain further but in light of the situation it is best that elaboration be kept to a minimum.




-i've been thinking-

the Zoo

Ah Meng

Either something's wrong with blogger or my computer doesn't like me. Either way, the damn thing just can't load my photos. Thank goodness it got Ah Meng loaded or I could never forgive myself for not respecting Singapore's Most Valuable Person (MVP). Sorry to some elderly guy in Government: you don't come close.


Zoo visit was awfully wonderful. Went with Alan, Audrey, Isam, Rusmin and Yiming. Walked around too so many exhibits that I couldn't keep count. I think the Zoo's gone on overkill on the turtles and primates. Damn near every exhibit had at least one of the furry or shelled buggers. It was fun while it lasted, what with Isam going bonkers at the sight of the horse's highly endowed, er, nether regions, and Audrey videotaping the guys in the toilet because it was open air. Thank god I wasn't in the toilet. I have to agree with Isam though. It was like the mare had swallowed a whole pack of Viagra and was ready to have some hot horse sex with, well, any horse. I swear he gave us the beady eye as we walked past. Probably grindin' some poor female horse right now. That was probably the major highlight of the trip, other than watching horses eat their own shit and rhinos drink their own pee.


Came back to AMK only to have Audrey drag me to meet Eunice. How I agreed I have no idea, but must have been her psychotic (yes) powers of persuasion. Eunice was nice to be around with though, and for the record, looks better than in her MSN pic. A cheerful and smiley behaviour completes her exterior. Talks much but with equal sense. A very likeable person indeed. I'd like to meet her again.


Joanne called while I was walking home and I probably asked her 3 times "are you on break?", having been told the same answer 3 exact times. Guess my brain wasn't where it was supposed to be, though in a good way =). Too busy thinking about it. Damn it, I can't meet her for bowling now because my peabrain thought I'd still have holiday next week when I actually don't. Never mind, still can meet up.


Amy's birthday's coming up and I still don't know what to get for her. I'm dead, man.

bleah

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Utterly wonderful piece of poetry. So poetic yet so real. So simplistic yet so direct. Fascinating.


My hands are aching. I don't know how I'm going to the Zoo tomorrow. I'll probably walk around with my hands in casts; they feel dead tired. Throwing a 4kg gun around may sound like your idea of fun, but I tried it and didn't work for me. I'm trying to learn up gun drills now, so I can take over my sec sch's PDS training session. PDS, by the way, stands for Precision Drill Squad. Know the guys in shiny silver helmets who twirl guns like broomsticks at NDP? That's me, albeit at school level. Before that was running around Singapore like a mad dog, getting a stamp and a signature for my timesheet to return to my HR company. Bah.


I'm fucking moody today, don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm tired out with training and pumping and running around to like a million Popular outlets in search of a signature and stamp but I don't think so. I think it's just me. Girls have menopause, guys have andropause. Haven't heard of it? It's a condition whereby a guy undergoes hormornal surges. Not the sexual kind, but the emotional one. It's starting to worry me. It's been a long time since I've felt this way. But I hope it's not long. And I know that I shouldn't be thinking about her, but I can't help it. She'll never go away.

realizing the impossible

I managed to pass all my subjects. What a whew. It was just the day before that I kept telling people that I was freaking out and had decided to retain for one year. How my fears have been allayed. However PEEE, DE and Maths results aren't out yet, which means that there's still a bit of nail-biting anxiety in me. I really hope that I did well in those papers. Granted, there's not much use crying over spilt milk, but you gotta have hope. Pray my other classmates do well in them too. Their futures rely on it. Don't wanna see any of them get kicked out from this class. Isn't nice at all.


Past few days were nothing but tiring. Went for live range at Amoy Quee Camp and had my eardrums blown out repeatedly by rifles firing less than 5 feet from you and brass cartridges literally flying at you. Man those little buggers can fly. Even though I was wearing earplugs, imagine facing the barking rifles all day. Was IC of the chamber, meaning that after every firing detail had completed their haphazard destruction of the targets (some never even hit their targets; they shot the next lane's), I had to lead them, red flag raised, into the firing chamber and retrieve their Canadian bull targets (a type of target used to train accuracy), and replace them with figure 12 targets, which is a picture of a man charging at you. I had to do this twice for each detail, meaning I had to go in and out for 14 times for 7 details. Furthermore I had to assist in sticking litle stickers over the bullet holes in each board that came back so they could be reused for the next detail. Yes, NCC is quite poor. Came home and hankered after hearing aids.


Went for stocktake at Toa Payoh's Popular after that at 2200. Was a long and difficult process, to say the least, but Zitian and I got lucky and were sent to Multimedia, which was at CD-Rama next door. Thank goodness we got assigned there. It's much quieter and less hectic than at the main store opposite. Had absolutely no fun in the beginning. The staff there hadn't performed a precount, which is to count the items before the stocktakers descend, so we had to count them ourselves. But when it came to the games section, the fun began. 3, 3, 2, 3, 4, 5, such numbers weren't all that tough to count. Worked though the night, with a break at 0300. Popular's rich, I tell you. They provided free food and drinks all through the night, which explained the perpetual cup of coffee beside me when I worked. Got acquainted with this girl who seemed to be on good terms with nearly anyone in the store. Wasn't a looker, but she was pleasant enough. Her friend was a pretty one though. She didn't catch my roving eye. Pity. Got cycled from CD-Rama to stationery to text, after which the staff realised I was the wanker screwing up and took away my terminal. No I'm kidding. Worked all the way till 0700 and had a Popular-sponsored breakfast of Sausage McMuffin. Told you so.


Going to the zoo to meet my monkey relatives with YM, Isam and Audrey soon. Not sure if I want to meet Uncle 'Rilla though. He scared the living daylights out of me the last time I went, together with Cousin 'Utan. Hope he isn't back from Butan.


Oh and did I mention, Jo called during range? I had my eardrums jackhammered while she was on the other end nonchalantly saying "You call that loud?" I could almost imagine her doing her nails, reclining in bed, phone cradled between her neck and shoulder, and saying "You call that loud?" Sorry Jo, I'm just kidding. I know you weren't doing that. Her attachment ends on Saturday instead of today, poor thing. But once she finishes she's free. Now where's my bowling trip?

the chalet

(Birthday boy Alan with his cake, duh. I ate the green thingy next to the red X on his cake)
(This is Elisha Lim Ee Ching. Smile or grimace, you decide)
(Sorry this is upside down. Sorta class photo)


I swear I didn't drink that much, fellas. No really. I was totally sober. Clear as day. Ok, now about that castle of mine I was telling you about.....


Chalet was absolutely fun. There happened so many superDUPERfunny episodes that I really couldn't recount all even if I tried. What i do know is that i got abominably - yes, abominably, that's the word - drunk, and made a damn fool out of myself even more than what I already am (a particular nurse i know well is going to kill me). Had only one cup of Chivas and the world became a planetarium of stars. To top it off, Alan had to go around smearing every living soul in sight with cream. I yelled "Cake fight!" but no-one seemed to listen. So there I was, desperately shielding my camera through my liquor induced haze, yelling "F*** who smeared me again?!?" and trying to wallpaper Audrey (who by the way exacted revenge on me) with cream. I got a few clean, neat shots in but she had me cold when I saw a fistful of cream headed my way. Ducking was out of the question, so I ended up looking like a makeup artist's worst nightmare. I think I visited the bathroom nearly 5 times to clear that goo off my face and hair. Thank you Audrey for giving me my first lesson in makeup artistry. Piece of cake.


With a headful of dead gray matter and a healthy disregard for "Don't drink and drive", I set off with Audrey, Elisha, Louis, Yiming for a bike trip. It was pure fun all the way, and in case you fellas are wondering, I could still cycle in a straight line, thank you very much. We went as far as the park could go, which was at the, er, can't remember. Anyway we did a U turn back and stopped on the way at the hawker centre for sugarcane drinks. I drank my packet in less than 8 gulps and promptly had brain freeze, not that there was much brain left after my Chivas fiasco. By this time I was feeling much better, thanks to the wind and exertion from cycling. We headed back to pit stop, then it was off again to Bedok jetty to play Uno. The stupidest thing I kept doing was throwing down my card, thinking I had won, only to realise it wasn't my turn. It didn't take the others much brain power to figure out what card I was holding on to after that. Yi Xuan pulled a phone prank on Audrey, much to our delight. Two police cars cruised towards us after our last game, just as we were going back. Me, being me, wanted to shout "Run!", but better sense prevailed.


We headed back to the chalet, where Yiming and I had a siesta after all that cycling. Audrey and Elisha (who shall now henceforth be known as A&E) however promptly got back on the bikes and went off again. Yiming and I tried to grab some Zs on any free space we could find. I even tried the staircase, and hey, it was comfortable. A&E came back after some time, which was close to 0400 or 0500, couldn't remember. Mucked around for some time before A&E went off to see the sunrise, an exercise which would soon prove to be in futility. Due to poor planning and an obvious lack of foresight, no one had brought a compass and the two only realised, after half an hour of sitting at the beachfront, that the sunrise was in fact not where they were sitting. We ended our wonderful chalet episode with a Macs breakfast after returning the bikes.


Obviously this had been a fun two days for me. More so, it showed me the fun side of my classmates which I had not seen in full swing until this day. It was refreshing to see them being carefree and talking and generally having a lot of fun. Also, it was very special for me to be able to face one of my personal dilemmas. I shan't say what it is because it is rather sensitive, but it has something to do with, ah, people relationship. I nearly came close to crossing my self-imposed ban but common sense took over and saved me. I'm now the wiser for it. Glad to have it happen to me.


Don't know whether Jo's still sick. Haven't heard from her today. Maybe I'll drop her a call tomorrow, see how she's doing and whether she's going back to work on Monday. Man, do hospitals kill or save people?

the world has lost something

i believe you folks out there have heard of the passing of Steve Irwin, nature's best friend yet. he was killed on a diving trip off Queensland while filming for Discovery Channel. it is a great loss to the world. not only has it lost a conservationist, environmentalist, wildlife enthusiast and one of the greatest animal handlers, it has also lost a colorful personality, a devoted father of two and a fine Australian. i'm deeply saddened by his passing. i enjoyed his shows immensely, what with his trademark catchphrase ("Crikey!") and screen antics. he was a good presenter too. that, together with his vast knowledge of the different animals he handled, made him exciting to watch. anyone who wants to find out about his establishment can point your browser at www.crocodilehunter.com.


on a lighter note anyhow, i'm going to chalet tomorrow! having a stayover. no hankypanky i hope. otherwise i'll die. wished i could bring my huge 2.0mp camera there but i still can't find the battery and charger. dammit. i only can bring my dyslexic 5.1mp camera there, whose motors sound as if they've been running for a decade. i'm still struggling to find a route there. stupid 401 doesn't run on weekdays. and that, by the way, is the ONLY bus that goes direct to costa sands. bugger SBS doesn't want to waste fuel, so they sacrifice that service.


jo's still sick. got kicked out of attachment to go see the doc's today because her flu got worse. she was supposed to tag along to the chalet with me but she can't now. damnit. really hope she gets better soon or she's going to have to do a lot of makeup to cover the days that she didn't go. that really sucks. she suggested a bowling outing by the time my hols end. really hope we can make that. whoops.


i'm still slacking and losing my grey matter to senility. i'm losing my mental stability. i'm not doing anything PRODUCTIVE. one of these days the god of senility is gonna come down, give me a big grin and say "you're next".

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

in the morning

success! Google's PageRank system finally gave me a 2/10 rating. i'm on Google's list! thank goodness.


holidays are doing nothing to improve my mental state. if anything, i'm going to become a vegetable if i don't sharpen my mind up. i don't know what i shall become. carrot? potato? i should start on some grey-matter intensive work. sudoku, maybe?


having the sniffles now. i have them sometimes, and when i have them they're really bad. i can sneeze for minutes at a time, nonstop. this is getting ridiculous. singapore's weather's nearly 34C and i can SNEEZE?


jo's sick too. poor girl. and she's got attachment this whole month. i know how that feels. i worked in that bookshop for 2 months every darn day. but i got paid, so i guess i can relate only so much. just hope she gets well soon.


short entry to purge my RAM chips before i sleep. need to clear memory, know?


oh by the way, gilbert and i have pledged to speak proper english. sticklers unite!

problems

got the new Zen V Plus player! i'm so excited. i'm paying it out of my pocket even before i've gotten my first paycheck. i purchased the 2GB one, black with green trimmings. it's really small, a technological marvel. what's even more exciting is that Creative's magic wand has swished again. within that player, there are functions that allow me to view pictures and videos. there is an FM radio integrated, and colour schemes are switchable. the screen is a marvel in itself. sporting a 128x128 resolution, it is actually an OLED display, which stand for Organic Light Emitting Diode display. not many know this term, but it actually is a screen that differs from other screens in that it doesn't require a backlight to make itself visible. rather, a small electric current is run across the screen, and that is sufficient for it to glow. this is a breakthrough for electronic devices that are always on the losing end of the power spectrum. such a screen uses extremely minimal power, so you can use the saved power for songs and viewing videos and the like. and did i mention, the screen is viewable from any angle? truly amazing.


however, transfer speeds are dismally mediocre. a picture album of 318mb took nearly 25 mins to transfer. i had expected something far faster from a device that supports USB 2.0 connection. however strangely enough, while transferring songs, it was much faster. supposedly the connection on this gizmo is 1.8mb/s. go figure. all in all, it's a really neat player. build quality is of the highest quality and its surface is scratchproof. totally. get it at $239 for the 2GB version, and $199 for the 1GB version. a 4GB version is also available at $309. i for one think that is a real good deal.


enough of the player. there is a problem in my ncc unit, a very unique one. i do not dare say much because this concerns a very prolific church in singapore. two of my cadets have been attending this church recently, and one of them has developed an obsession bordering on the fanatical towards this church. this church is known for its very questionable methods of worship and spreading the word. their ways of making people join their service is highly objectionable too; some might say 'force' is a better word. in a word, this church is highly UNorthodox. one of the two cadets, who holds a rank of substantial stature, has been persuading other cadets, even some NCOs, to join this church. naturally, objections abound. to make matters worse, both of them have been given official approval to skip the first day of a very important course they are to attend this sunday. worst is, this cadet of high rank is consistently late for class after recess because of a claimed "church meeting" during recess. i am worried because of several factors:

1. parents might start to think that this church and my school's unit are affiliated, which would be a disaster

2. the cadet with the higher rank might derelict his duties, of which he is on the verge of doing, if not done

3. cadets might join the church and display the same indifferent attitude the aforementioned cadet is displaying now


i'm very worried about this situation. it might get out of hand, which is why another CLT and myself have decided to see the Officer in charge to sort things out. i have no wish to see my unit being destroyed inside out because of the church's doings, especially a church of this nature. however, i'm essentially powerless to stop him from going there. all i can do is make sure he does his duties as befits his rank. if he does not carry them out well, however, then there will be a case for me to argue. i don't wish to stop him from attending service because it wouldn't be right, but i will stop him if he attitude deteriorates further. drastic measures will happen to these two cadets if they proceed further. i will make sure of that.


however, there is a problem only i among the CLTs know. another CLT is a member of that church too. i am hoping against hope that he doesn't become some alien after attending that church for long periods. so far, he hasn't.


shan't type further. i'm not about to go sit behind bars because of my statements.