troubles

Just switched to Blogger beta. Hope it works.

I'll be frank. My exams are on Monday, but I can't seem to study. No matter how I try, I just can't get myself to study. This has never happened to me before. It's not that I'm lazy. I drew up a detailed program for myself this week and promised to keep to it. I didn't. I'm really very worried that I may retain this year. I'm on the verge of desperation now, a man who sees his future on very shaky ground. Not that I'm not trying my best; I am. I'm giving it my all. But if I don't pass this time, I will retain. And that's something I don't want to see happening. I don't want to disappoint people around me. Especially my parents. Poly education is very expensive and it's no joke. And I don't want to do an entire year's worth of the same work I did previously.

I'm really very worried. I'm starting to think I've chosen the wrong diploma to pursue. But I don't want to fall into that pit of frustration and angst. I may not get back out at all. All I need to do is get past this year.

Why am I so unmotivated, especially now? Why can't I study? What's happening to me?