This day in history

I sort of remember something that happened on this date this time last year, but I can't recall what exactly. I guess I'm left to reminisce about it and keep trying to wonder what it was. In the meantime, I think I shall do a once-over on my past entries. Ready for a long and gloomy post? Read on, me hearties.

I think it might be me, but has anyone noticed that my blog entries - except for the occasional upbeat and merry-sounding one - sound morose, downcast and exceptionally moody? After intense scrutinizing of the grammar and poring over the syntax with a fine-toothed comb, I can confidently say that despite my best efforts or lack thereof, I have managed to produce every single blog entry with just that slight shade of moodiness liberally sprinkled all over it, like a cream cake with just that hint of a dash of dark chocolate powder all over it. Intrigued? So am I.

Recently this past year, I've been party to some events: some really uplifting and exciting and fun, some however deeply depressing and mostly energy sapping. Suffice to say the depressing ones have made me somewhat of a changed person, and since they do happen more often than the happy ones, you can see which way they steer me in. You could argue that unhappiness naturally follows unhappy people and vice versa but I beg to differ.

I believe I have been blessed with the good ability to see the other side of things and their intrinsic factors and as such see the perspectives that most may not be able to, possibly due to prejudices or perhaps a simple lack of proper judgment. I am in no way demeaning others who are maybe less complex (ok let's face it, screwed up) in their thoughts and actions, it could simply be our individual upbringing that has given us different windows to see out of. Oftentimes I have helped others - friends, mostly - to see a side of circumstances that they were unable to, and subsequently complementing their overall stand on the subject, but never swaying their final decisions. I suppose some of us are able to see the big picture more times than others, and in a way it's good to convey that knowledge to your pals too - if they can stomach it.

But what happens when you do? When you have a God's-eye view over everything, you see the good, the bad and the ugly, exactly like how God sees it (no religious connotations here). And doesn't that sadden you in some way? You'd have to be a fool or incredibly blind not to feel at least a certain sense of cheerlessness in the situation. And inevitably, after a long period of time of repetitive listening-to-friends-and-helping-them-with-heartaches, you start to slowly feel a little less hopeful, a little less buoyant. Listening to your friends' problems and naturally having some of your own axiomatically induces a certain amount of melancholy in you. It is this slow creep of despondency that makes one a mournful and disconsolate person.

I've been trying to change my mood of late. Where possible, I'm always on the lookout for the brighter side of things, to see where others might fail to see and to help them see the heartier side of it all. Because when you see happiness, you're a happy person.

Ready for the ride?

This week in words

So the exams are over and so too, I hope, the dreadful incident that prompted that entry below. Won't say no more.

Outing with Jerold and Patrick was the first proper outing I've had with the guys since a long while, and it was fantastic all the way. Although Gilbert wasn't there cos he's busy being an Asian in Florida, we're still gonna meet up on the 7th for some real gaming action plus staying over, but that's something for another time.

Best came to visit yesterday at work. I was so surprised, it just bowled me over to see her standing there. It took me slightly over 4 seconds to recognize her and stumble backwards, cos I was squatting on the floor, counting stuff. That visit sure brightened up my day no end. It was just so nice to be surprised. Sigh :)

Had to help the Sabster and Lina with their debate, and that brought back so many memories during secondary school, where I had my debates in class, and the immensely tiring and headache-inducing preparations we had to make. Truth be told I would rather have not been in that debate, if I hadn't been chosen. I was stuttering so badly it sounded like I had the shakes bad. Ah well, that's over now, ha ha.


I'm not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's son. I sit here plucking feathers till the pheasant plucker comes.

Try saying that without ending up saying "pleasant fucker" with every sentence =D

Untitled

I don't know what to say, do, or think.

These past few days haven't been easy for me because of the exams, and now this has just been dropped into my lap. For the first time in a long time, I just broke down and I didn't stop. I wouldn't care a second if somebody else said it, but it was you who said that to me, and that just made me stop.


I'm not going to say it wasn't my fault that I did that. I really do deeply apologize. I overstepped a line there which I didn't see, and I accept any kind of ill-feeling you have toward me. It should have been common sense to me but I obviously lacked proper judgment at that time, so I ask you to forgive me. What made it so unpalatable to stomach however was your utter directness in telling me that. Told nicely, I'm receptive and will understand. But the manner in which you said it was simply too much for me to take. It was harsh, direct, and accusing. I'm your friend, close friend, not your enemy. You talk to people you don't like in that manner, to people whom you distrust or don't fancy. I understand you, even when you don't say it, so why the sudden change? I cannot help feeling that your words mean something much deeper, and I can't help thinking in that way too. If you want to talk about it, I'm most forthcoming. But if you don't want to, that leaves me completely perplexed. Please, give me some time to talk it out with you. I need that time. It'll mean more to me than anything else right now. If I could have things my way I would turn back the clock to a time before it all happened. But I can't.

Please, help me help us.

I'm over it

Yep as you guessed it, Math paper was over and I'm over it. Same feeling as my old math paper. Two papers, separated by 6 months, geared toward the same goal: making my life as fucking miserable as possible. BUT NO YOU DICK DON'T GIVE UP, IT'S NOT THE END YET!

Kind of got hot-headed toward Best last night, really feeling bad about it. I got a bit frustrated over why she was so moody and bottled up about those things, and I guess I just flared when she gave me a tersely worded answer. Hope she's all right - she hasn't replied my email which I sent last night. The last thing she needs is me adding to her problems.

Changing gears, literally, I think I need to get back to my driving, pronto. I haven't been behind the wheel for quite some time now ever since e-learning week and that disastrous attempt at directional-change. I hope to get some roadtime after my exams are over.

Bloody Acer. WHERE THE HELL IS MY LAPTOP!

Wanting you to be wanting me,
No that ain't the way to be,
How I feel, read my lips,
Because I'm so over it,
Moving on, it's my time,
You never were a friend of mine,
Hurt at first, a little bit,
But now I'm so over it

Examinationings

So it is here.

Analogue Comms Systems (ACS) - today, 1730-1900
Maths - 1030 - 1200
Circuit Analysis - 0830 - 1000
Physics - 1030 - 1200
AMMP (Aircraft Materials Make Pots, or something like that) - 0830 - 1000


Hooked onto Katharine McPhee's Ordinary World. Such a tuneful melody, coupled with the fact that a seriously pretty chick is singing it. What's not to like?

Monday blues

Argh...

I hate Mondays.

I hate hating Mondays.

It seriously sucks hating to hate Mondays.

And if you understood all that then you're smarter than me.

*

On a more serious note, I don't think I'll be posting anything this coming week. Exams are around the corner and I really need to hit the books hard, which much of late I haven't been doing. Might be adding in an arbitrary entry here and there if I have the time and gumption, I reckon, but don't expect much. I'm really on the edge now, seeing that the tests are so close. I WANNA GO 3RD YEAR LA.

obviously I'm not getting the full picture here.
exactly what's preventing you from doing that?
you're not exactly being an angel here.
I know how I feel about you now.

Work rocks on a Friday

So Calendars test was fine and I got through it in one piece. I got a donut from Audrey and a rainy day at work. Bear in mind that I'm typing this at 0019 so my thoughts may be a bit manic and very straightfoward. It's me at my best.

Work was fine today till something happened. Something that stunned me speechless. And those who know me well know that I can't shut up easily.

Let's first start off with the usual disclaimer that this entry in no way demeans or decries Section 377A of the 11th chapter of verse 15...whatever.

We were changing shifts at work, right, when the next person comes in. Now I've been wanting to talk about this person for a long time. Imagine a man. Now imagine a girly man. Now imagine a woman. Now imagine a girly man trying to be a woman. Now imagine that man actually SUCCEEDING in being a woman. Truth be told I absolutely cannot be certain whether he or she is male or female or both. No Adam's apple but has boobs, no bulge in pants but has womanly behaviour. Right. So anyway, he/she comes in, soaking wet cos it's raining outside and he/she isn't wearing a bra. No further elaboration needed, and that's just the start.

So me and the Indian girl are done with the cashiering duties and the Hemale (let's not make it too obvious, shall we) is standing around, looking kooky and generally being a nuisance, which is forever the case. We're done and all 3 of us step outside for a puff and some beer. Naturally I partook in none of those vices, just minding my own business and tapping away on my Palm, being very businesslike indeed. We shoot the shit for awhile and we're off, the Indian girl and I. We chat for a bit cos we're headed in the same direction and we suddenly realise we've forgotten to count the cigarette packets, as is the practice. So I volunteer and go back to the store in the rain.

Stepping in, the Hemale calls out to me and asks Hey what u doing? I reply with a friendly "Oh nothing, just forgot to count the cig packs. But I'll be done in no time."

Hemale: "Cannot leh, my shift already. I have to fill it in. "
Me: "Oh then you help me la, ha ha."
Hemale: " Cannot la, you must treat me"
(at this point I'm already in the office in the backroom)
Me: "So what kind of treat you want?"
(thinking back I should NEVER EVER have said that, and I was getting very jumpy at this time)
Hemale (with seriously creepily sexy voice): "I dunno leh. What you want to treat me?"
Me: "Ha ha I also dunno man."
Hemale: "You show me what you have la."

Uh OK, I'm a very open and understanding person and I understand that you have the sudden urge for hardcore gay sex or to see my private appendages, and I also understand that I want to get the fuck out of there as fast as humanly possible. I mean, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, standing in the office face to face with a braless tranny and being asked whether I wanted to show it off isn't my idea of fun. So naturally I mumbled some rubbish and hightailed it out of there as fast as my legs would allow.

Just came home all shaking and shivering. And it's not due to the the cold rain.

Tomorrow's a holiday!

Yay it's a holiday tomorrow = sleep in late, and possibly - repeat, POSSIBLY - getting a new phone. More on that later, I promise :D

I've gotten the new Gmail layout! OK not exactly a new layout cos it looks exactly like the old one if anything, but several things have been spruced up. It could be just me but I THINK that it has been slowed down a bit. Not too sure, also more on that later.

I've finally chosen my FYP. That's Final Year Project in poly-speak. What it is, basically, is a year-long project you perform together with your group in Year 3. It's going to demand a lot and basically will take up the bulk of our time in Year 3. I'm doing it together with Audrey and Weller, minus Mr Tay Yiming because he obviously is way too smart and so obviously has to be separated from the rest of us peasants.

I might be doing something on OLEDs, which stands for Organic Light Emitting Diodes. This project apparently requires some R&D to be done, plus some training which apparently is so serious that I need to cancel my China trip to train in school. What that means is that both Audrey and I have to cancel our respective overseas trips and perform our industry attachments with the school. In short, my attachment = training in school in preparation for the project. I'm OK with canceling my China trip - at least I haven't paid yet - but I'm thinking more about Audrey. I know her Philippines trip means a lot to her and I'm just that bit worried that she mightn't be comfortable. Hope I can talk to her about it...hmm.

MST's coming up. STRESS STRESS STRESS. ICH HABE STRESS.

On a Tuesday, I....

AMMP mechanical! Mein Gott I have no idea how I survived that. Drill holes here, round an edge there, chop some shit off...jesus it was hard work. Audrey and I worked like crazy over that little piece of aluminum - drawing lines all across it to make sure our holes were drilled properly and that the sheet could be bent to tolerance. I think it has been the hardest I've ever worked over a piece of metal...if ever. But I'm still looking forward to the next mechanical lab session. It's great fun, seriously: Audrey and I work like a good team.

Oh well. Next up is some damn thing to do with screwing. Uh, screws. It damn well better be interesting.

Got a truckload of stuff to do later, might as well get started now. Seems like the workload is never ending and the stress ever increasing. Mid Semestral Test is just around the corner and some studying needs to be done. Scratch that - make that A LOT.

Feel like typing some sorta thoughtful and typically insightful post *again* but I simply haven't the time to do that. Maybe when Saturday comes, or when I'm done with work on Friday at night, so all you lovely people out there can take it easy and read my equally lovely entry through the weekend.

Hey there Khalilah

Oh God this video just cracks me up no end whenever I view it. Listen to the lyrics, sung to the tune of Plain White Ts's Hey There Delilah. This is just so fucking funny, if you'll pardon my french.

Plain White T's, eat your heart out. This version PWNS you.

Randomity and the E-Learning week

*cracks knuckles, wiggles fingers* aaaahh. Feels so good to be doing a randomity post; haven't done one for a while now.

School's starting tomorrow, and the E-learning week's drawing to a close. To be quite honest it has been the most useless week ever. The concept in itself is fine: to be able to study from home and pace yourself out. BUT come on SP, most of us would rather go to school and do some proper studying than get bogged down by tons of computer games and stacks of food lying around at home. Or is it just me?

Work yesterday was in short, chaotic. I have realised one thing: the longer the hours, the more calamitous the cock-ups. The first few hours were predictable harried because I had forgotten how to do some cashiering procedures and I had to relearn all of them in the grand space of 5 minutes. Worst cock-up came at the 11th hour, literally at 2300 when I was about to knock off. This woman came in and bought some stuff, and I proceeded to scan them. She handed me her Nets card, after which I proceeded to tap the button on the register to signal she was "Nets-ing it!" or whatever. Problem was: there was no Nets terminal at the register I was working on. Cue frantic button pressing, a system hang, a complete restart to the computer and one black face. Total cock-up time: 15 minutes. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my parents, sisters, uncle..................

Whatever.

Results of McLaren's appeal to the FIA regarding the apparent technical misconduct of BMW and Williams will be known next week. I'm hoping that nothing will come of it because it will be a sad day for motor racing if Lewis Hamilton won on a technicality instead of on his own merit. If both Robert Kubica and Nico Rosberg get penalised and demoted, it would mean the rookie taking 4th, effectively bringing him up in the points and winning the World Championship. Kimi would be devastated. Cross fingers, really.

Acer has called with some really heartening and delightful news. Turns out that my repair costs are now a tick more than what was previously quoted. So instead of the princely sum of 500, I'm now paying a staggering 718. That's damage to the keyboard, motherboard, video card and some cabling for you. I've said it once and I'll say it again: how the f*** can a 5 buck latte wreak so much havoc on a $1800 laptop?

if the future looks bleak, don't fear,
for another chance will always be here.
cling to whatever last vestiges of hope ,
because that's your boat,
if you think you can do it, you probably can,
for the strength of the human mind,
renders you to all but the truth blind,
but if you despair,
then be prepared,
for the person who ultimately does choose,
is the person who stands in your shoes.

E-learning...help....me....dying....

Yeah let's see you try to survive e-learning week, punk :(

Today's driving wasn't bad at all. I got back that ex-Air Force guy whom I had as instructor a coupla months back. He really isn't strict in the absolute sense of the word; he's just really thorough and wants things to be done properly, not wishy-washy, and I can think I can allude that manner to the way he dealt (yes, dealt) with me during lesson today. He practically criticized every move I made during driving. Oh well, I think I was really wasn't concentrating. I hadn't had lunch before that, ha ha. Don't blame me man. But thanks to him, I really know where I'm going wrong now. Directional-change is hell, let me just say.

I just wanna say a big SORRY to Joyce for not being able to attend her birthday dinner tonight. For those who know me, you know my mum doesn't exactly allow me out to dinner with friends, especially not now since I haven't exactly been very studious. Hope next Friday's meeting is enough to pacify her. I really feel extremely bad about not going, not least of all because she invited me, but because she made some arrangements with someone to do something, details of which I shall not mention cos it's private, lah. So sorry, Joyce. Dinner's on me Friday.