On a Night Like This -- Kylie Minogue
I hate doing emo posts, and I avoid writing them assiduously. But I've got to let this one out.
I have no idea what's bitten me for the past two days. I still go to school, still do all my things, but I keep having a feeling that a cloud's hanging over my head. It's a storm cloud. I feel tired, worn out, lethargic. And it's also not helping that I still have my programming project to complete, on which I shall elaborate later. It's not like me to act like that, I know, but sometimes it all get so...overwhelming. I feel like Jason Bourne - whose memory is lost, whose existence is the very bane of the people who are hunting him, fighting back with the skills he possesses, the cunning, the stealth to regain his right to live.
Sigh. Except that I have neither his skills nor his looks.
Yes. The programming project. To cut to the chase, I feel that Audrey's been doing nearly all the work and that I'm merely a passenger. It's no fault of hers but mine. I do well in tests, quizzes, lessons; but when the project came along, I was totally stumped. I couldn't even begin how to do it. We've switched topics for the project to an easier one, infinitesimally easier though it is. And still she gets the codes right while I sit there like a damn f****** fool flicking through my papers finding out how to start. God I really feel damn stupid sometimes. I really want to add something to it and not just let the project go to the dumps, which is my last resort. :( I feel that I've really let her down.
Carrying on with the emo mood, things still aren't looking up. I have had several quizzes and tests recently. Make no mistake, I'm pleased with what I've achieved, but I'm still really frustrated with myself. Every test that I've done so far, there's always that element of "Shit, I KNOW how to do that but HOW?!". Take my programming lab test for instance. There was a section which I was positive I could score, but when I came to it, I hit a brick wall. I managed to lose a total of 12 marks thanks to that brick wall. No guesses as to how I felt afterward, but I swear that hole in the wall isn't my doing.
Exams are in a week's time. Studying under way, thankfully.
Still haven't saved up for someone's something. Crapcrapcrap.
I have no idea what's bitten me for the past two days. I still go to school, still do all my things, but I keep having a feeling that a cloud's hanging over my head. It's a storm cloud. I feel tired, worn out, lethargic. And it's also not helping that I still have my programming project to complete, on which I shall elaborate later. It's not like me to act like that, I know, but sometimes it all get so...overwhelming. I feel like Jason Bourne - whose memory is lost, whose existence is the very bane of the people who are hunting him, fighting back with the skills he possesses, the cunning, the stealth to regain his right to live.
Sigh. Except that I have neither his skills nor his looks.
Yes. The programming project. To cut to the chase, I feel that Audrey's been doing nearly all the work and that I'm merely a passenger. It's no fault of hers but mine. I do well in tests, quizzes, lessons; but when the project came along, I was totally stumped. I couldn't even begin how to do it. We've switched topics for the project to an easier one, infinitesimally easier though it is. And still she gets the codes right while I sit there like a damn f****** fool flicking through my papers finding out how to start. God I really feel damn stupid sometimes. I really want to add something to it and not just let the project go to the dumps, which is my last resort. :( I feel that I've really let her down.
Carrying on with the emo mood, things still aren't looking up. I have had several quizzes and tests recently. Make no mistake, I'm pleased with what I've achieved, but I'm still really frustrated with myself. Every test that I've done so far, there's always that element of "Shit, I KNOW how to do that but HOW?!". Take my programming lab test for instance. There was a section which I was positive I could score, but when I came to it, I hit a brick wall. I managed to lose a total of 12 marks thanks to that brick wall. No guesses as to how I felt afterward, but I swear that hole in the wall isn't my doing.
Exams are in a week's time. Studying under way, thankfully.
Still haven't saved up for someone's something. Crapcrapcrap.
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