whirlwind of thoughts

i kid you not, fellas.

it's like someone stepped into my life again after so long. literally. in these past 2 days i've gotten calls from joanne like every day or so. seriously speaking, i'm not prepared. these calls bring back so many memories from the past they seem like monsters, lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce on my weaknesses. and they are back to haunt me. in all honesty i believe i had misinterpreted the situation earlier. she isn't a bad person, on the contrary i think she's just trying to get back in touch, but i'm not sure. i've moved on, shrugging the baggage from my past years all off from my shoulders and starting afresh. but these calls bring back some baggage. and i'd prefer that those be burned and razed to the ground, never to be seen again.


but maybe, just maybe, it's time to change. perhaps i should embrace this change that's happening very radically and very fast. i don't doubt it; she's coming back into my life. she is and was always a friend. was my best friend once, but i don't think we can duplicate that. there has been too much animosity between us to start that again.


i believe she'll be my friend again, albeit a very special and unique one. i'll never have one like her.


welcome back into my circle, jo. i'm pleased to see you again.


ok sorry fellas if you don't understand what the heck i just typed. i don't blame you. it is indeed very complicated. complicated enough to not be able to be typed out in such a short span of time. if i would type out everything, i probably would crash blogspot's servers.

i need to get on with my poly work. i've been lazy and lacklustre in my performance lately, and i hate myself for that. it isn't me. i've been on holiday too long, that's what. i've been watching tv like nobody's business and it's affecting me. i want to work. i set myself a goal to top my class in the first year and what has happened to it? gone, that's what. i'm ashamed. it's not me.

this has gotta change. now.